11 weeks 1 day

One week until my 12 week scan!

Well we weren’t planning on it, but we had to tell Madison the news on the weekend. The original plan was to tell her after the 12 week scan so that we knew that everything was ok with the baby. But on the weekend, Patch’s dad and Jonah popped around to say hello. I whispered to him as he came in not to say anything because Madison didn’t know, but Jonah didn’t hear me and she said “How many months is the baby?” Madison’s ears pricked up and she could sense my hesitation. I ushered Jonah into the kitchen and told her that Madison didn’t know yet, but that I am 11 weeks. Then Madison popped her head around the corner behind Jonah just in time to hear Jonah saying “Oh the baby is 11 weeks!”

We went to sit outside while Madison stayed inside to watch TV, and talked about it for a little while, but as soon as Tim and Jonah left, Madison asked, “Rachel, what was she saying about a baby?”

I didn’t want to lie to her because if I said a fib and then we told her next week she would know that we had lied to her. So I said, “um I’ll talk to you in a minute,” and rushed outside to talk to Patch. We both quickly agreed that it would be best not to lie to her.

So after dinner while we were still sitting at the table we told her. At first she thought I was joking and she said with a laugh, “Tell me the truth!” So I said, “That is the truth.” Then Patch added, “We weren’t going to tell you until next week because next week Rachel is going to get a picture of the baby inside her tummy so that we know that the baby is healthy.” Madison seemed to understand that and she wasn’t upset. Then Patch asked her, “Do you wish for a brother or a sister?” And Madison said, “A sister because I HATE boys!”

Then I noticed her eyes filling with tears. I came to sit with her and asked her what was wrong. She wouldn’t speak for a long time so I just reassured her that it was a big thing and maybe a bit scary, but it doesn’t mean that we will love her less it just means our family is going to get a bit bigger.

She still didn’t say anything so I let her be. She went to her room while I cleared the table. Patch went to talk to her, but he came out and said she wanted to be alone for a little while. So we left her for about ten minutes.

I went in to talk to her and asked her if she was scared. She nodded, but didn’t say what she was scared about. After a while, she said, “I’m scared that when the baby is about 5 and I’m a teenager, that I will get in trouble because I might not want to play with the baby anymore and I might hurt his or her feelings.” I thought to myself ‘is that it?!’ So I said to her, “it’s ok, when I was a teenager sometimes I didn’t want to play with my little brother, but it didn’t mean that I didn’t love him, we just loved each other in a different way. You won’t get into trouble for something like that.” That cheered her up instantly and for the rest of the night she was really excited.

The next day she told me that she prayed to God and said thank you for the baby. I nearly cried because that was so sweet! It makes me so much better to know that she is excited about the baby now. She is even going to tell it for news this week in her classroom. She was rehearsing her speech on what she is going to say to the class!

So that hurdle is over now. I don’t have to worry about how Madison will react now. I’m so glad that she is happy with what is happening. Of course there will be ups and downs but at least I know she’s not worried that we will love her less (that was my biggest fear). Patch and I will just have to make sure that we treat her so.